It's been a week already? Really?.....

Like sands through the hourglass...I can't believe it's been a whole week since I last posted. Since my last boot camp class. Since, well, since last Monday. Where did it go? I'll tell you where. It went on a very delayed, very early flight to Shreveport, LA. Then it went to a hotel/casino in Bossier City, LA where I ate fried chicken and  gumbo and fell asleep without spending a dime in the casino, which just felt wrong. From there, next stop was a client meeting in Minden, LA, then a 4 hour road trip to yet another casino/hotel in Baton Rouge. Another blown opportunity to spend money gambling. It's like I don't even want to help LA recover economically. Then a dinner of crawfish etouffee accompanied by the worlds dirtiest martini, so briny it shrivelled my tastebuds to nothing and prevented me from drinking further with the hordes of Gator fans in town for the LSU v FL game (a quick aside: Southerners really know how to obsess over, lose their collective shit for, support a football team. Our meeting on Friday morning entailed us driving past the LSU campus. The campus that was already a hive of tailgating and pep-rallying and general good-timing. At 8:30am. A FULL DAY before the game was even due to start. Everybody at the jobsite we went to inspect was wearing purple and fervently praying that Tim Tebow wouldn't be allowed to play the next day, you know, because they were concerned for his future health, not because they're scared of Jesus Tebow and his ability to walk on water or anything.) Next stop; New Orleans and a hotel that was just a hotel, but conveniently located next to Harrah's (nope! still no gambling). Two successful meetings later we were ready for some wine and dinner at NOLA, where I enjoyed some chargrilled oysters and shrimp and grits. All delicious, yet all rendered less enjoyable by the ear-splitting decibels in the restaurant. Why for so noisy, Emeril? Now, before I mention how we also had lunch at Acme Oyster House and I had the most disgusting, fat-laden thing on the menu, and proceeded to hover over my plate and devour it like I was in prison, I'd like to state for the record that I worked out on Thursday. That's right. A solid showing that left me covered in sweat and feeling virtuous. These career women! We really can do it all! I even worked some lunges and squats in there. Because I'm nothing if not dedicated to my fitness regimen. And fatty deliciousness. Ahem.

So, in light of delayed flights, and time zone differences, and client meetings, and three hotels and four cities in three days, and boo fries and oysters slathered in cheese-oops!, I'm declaring the Workout Week In Review: Week 4, canceled and moved to this week. This will now become "Week 4*" (and I didn't even need Marc Ecko to help make that decision).

Week 4 arrived early this morning and brought with it a whole new challenge-TOTAL DARKNESS. At first I thought this would be good because they wouldn't be able to see my tears, but mentally the extra darkness took a toll for some reason. I mean, I know it's early, but now it's early, dark and cold? That just seems so arduous. Also, this morning we did three sets of everything on our circuit, but we stayed at one station for all three sets, which is different to how we usually do it. Again, there were murmurings of how that seemed even harder than normal, because let me tell you, that first set of push-presses is no big deal, but by the time you've interspersed them with weighted squats and you're on round three of push-presses, your (and by "your" I mean "my") arms are quivering in a way you didn't know was possible. It's as if your entire arm has liquified internally and all that's keeping you going is the desire to not give that bastard "House" an idea for a show. (Not that he actually chooses the ideas or writes the show or anything, but you take whatever motivation comes to you when you're trying to re-solidify your arms. Did I mention it was dark? And cold?)

I didn't really plan ahead, and so my last station was ab-work. Whew! Glad that's done. Now I'll go pick up my water bottle and..... CRAP, do more ab work with the group. Gross, gross, gross. Then we were done. It was light out, and I got to my car and actually thought to myself (WARNING: dangerous and bad mataphors ahead) "Wow. You know, this whole dark to light and cold to hot thing really works as a metaphor for working out. You start in darkness and oh, today's Columbus Day and that was a voyage of discovery and......" Then,  all of a sudden the car became filled with the most incredibly sweet smell of my life and I thought "Ahhhh, working out hasn't actually rendered me retarded; I'm having a stroke. That explains everything". I quickly self-performed the three tests indicating a stroke, think I passed and then sailed home, thanks to no traffic whatsoever. Enjoy your day off Government and State Employees! And  lo, Week 4* has begun.