I'm back baby! I'm back!!!

OK, so I must say that even though the two week hiatus killed me, I have noticed two benefits to not starting completely from scratch with the working out thing:
1. My pain level has never ratcheted back up to the levels that I had when I began. Now, let me reiterate, when I began I frequently looked like this in-between and during workouts (only, you know, without the jaunty scarf/camo bandage, because that would have required me moving my arms) :

2. It actually seems like maybe it's not taking me as long to get back into the swing of things. I can already see improvements when getting back to some of the moves that are painful/impossible (i.e) burpees, pushups, jogging, squat thrusts, kettle bell lifts and on and on ad nauseum.

Truly though, the biggest boon of working out and the thing that drags me out of bed on rainy and cold  mornings  is the feeling of virtuosity. Don't underestimate it. Everyone loves feeling self-righteous and like a badass, right? No? Just me? Just me then. But seriously, the feeling of being somebody who "works out" (even a measly three times a week) is something I'm very enthralled with. It's the possibility that I can be a better me. That maybe, buried under the layers of stuffing balls and cheese and Milk Duds, my body and my strength can surprise me. Can be shaped into something I'm proud of, something strong and lean and muscular. Something I may still need to do the post-wash jeans dance for, but something that's nonetheless strong and healthy.

I've spent a ton of my life worrying about "weight". I know, I know; alert the media

Breaking news.....

but honestly, as I've gotten older, I've just grown weary of beating up on myself. Life is hard enough, you know? We're all doing the best we can with what we can. Sometimes the best you can do is a Filet-O-Fish. And I'm not going to launch into a diatribe about how we're bombarded with unrealistic images of what a female body should look like (but even Tom Ford, (btw, ahhh, so beautiful Tom Ford. DO WANT!), in this great NPR interview http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=121405891 talks about how we're all evolving to look like post-human people, basically because we can now with surgery and eventually we'll all be like beautiful cars, but who wants to be with a beautiful car?) because really, at the end of the day we should all just be kinder to ourselves. Whether that means mac and cheese to you, or whether it means "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" (which, HELLO? Crock of shit. Um, steak, veggies, fish, chicken, dessert! It's all amazing!), we all encounter enough hardness in the everyday world what with routines and relationships and jobs and kids and pets and bosses and Big Brother coming back three times a week and whew! If you can't show yourself a little love in there it's not much of a life.

I myself used to come down firmly on the mac and cheese side of life, but I've discovered that balancing it with a little genuine feel-goodedness about lifting and pushing and sweating and kicking makes it all even better, which is a shock. (My initial thought was makes it all even "cheesier", which is apropos given my ham-handed imagery (see what I did there?!?! Thanks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your server) and overuse of thoughts within thoughts, but you know what? It's my blog. I can ramble away!)

Anyway, in desperately searching for an ending here before I derail myself even further, working out = guilt-free McDonalds Filet-O-Fish and feeling of awesomeness (different from the McFeeling the FoF will produce)
And also, working out + genetics =

Able to eat Filet-O-Fish nonstop