Oh, it's all so much....*exhausted sigh*.....(Now with more CAPS LOCK!).......

Wow! So this is daunting. Picking up in December when my last blog post was in October. So, um, what have I been up to? Here's a brief synopsis:
Being crazed at work, traveling for work, traveling for Thanksgiving, stuffing myself full of food and wine and good cheer and tidings of expanded waistlines and not exactly comfort or joy.

November was a terrible month for working out due to my travel schedule which had me out of town for two weeks in a row. Again, yes of course you can work out if you're not in town, but my ALL-OR-NOTHING mentality doesn't process that too well. That's been a challenge for me with everything in my life, so not sure why it would be different with working out, but let me tell you that first day back after a two week hiatus nearly killed me. I can honestly say it was the closest I've ever come to throwing up in class, and everything seemed EXTRA HARD, when in reality it was just the fact that building up a fitness level is so easily undone. Even my (pathetic) sit-ups were impossible; mere weeks before they'd seemed like a nice chance to have a seat during a grueling workout.

So now, on top of battling my holiday-infused waistline, I'm also battling to get back to the very mediocre level of fitness I was at pre-two week layoff. Such is the cruelty of working out. For every step forward, every day you sit on your butt and don't try to improve upon it is a swift slide backwards. I could make some lame analogy about how everything in life is like that and it's a great lesson to learn in relation to your physicality, and as Jane Fonda used to say......blah, blah, blah, but in reality it's all very demoralizing. It does not at all feed into our FASTERFASTERNOWNOW mentality. I mean, everything in life is unbelievably easy with all the technology we have nowadays. Think about it - you can be on your iPhone trading stocks while blogging and getting a recipe for a simple paella and then hear a song you don't know but are intrigued by. In the olden days, we luddites would have to debase ourselves by walking up to friends and strangers alike and attempting to hum the tune to a song we didn't know. Then began the endless guessing game and the never-ending frustration. We must have looked a little homeless and crazy, wandering around, hugging ourselves and humming the same 15 seconds of the hook we remembered while saying "I think it was something something dogbone. No? You don't know it?" Now, you kids don't know what off-key humming even sounds like anymore. You just hold up your iPhone and SHAZAM!, your phone tells you everything you ever wanted to know about the song, and by the way, I've just downloaded it for you too. No, no, you're welcome! Don't even mention it.

Hence the jarring shift that comes from working out after decades and decades of doing nothing. NO instant results. As a matter of fact, it's essentially been the opposite. I've actually gained weight since I started working out. And don't tell me about how muscle weighs more than fat. Yeah, got it. I'm pretty sure my muscle won't squeeze over the top of my jeans like this. And in reality, I'm not one of those girls who ties everything to a number on a scale, but when clothes fit in different ways than they did before (both on the good and bad end of that spectrum), I tend to notice. So tell me then how this math works:
No exercise  + eating pretty much whatever = Less than ideal
Some exercise  + eating pretty much whatever three months later = Less than ideal plus some

See? NO FAIR! Everything else is so easy I want three workouts a week to be enough to get me fit and healthy, and I've just got to face it that for me (and most people actually), it won't be. I need to step it up and make it to every bootcamp and then supplement with some additional exercise. I need to not see working out three days a week as a license to eat everything I feel like. I need to remember how hard it was for me to go back after those two weeks and essentially feel like I was starting all over again.

On the other hand I also need to remember how my arms feel sleeker and more defined, how my push-ups are getting better, how I feel really accomplished when I complete a class and I'm covered in sweat, how we laugh as we stretch out to "The King of Pain" or how maybe, just maybe, it actually means something to put a little effort into taking care of myself and it may be better when I get there and know that I earned it. You know, the victory of finally learning what that song you were humming is seemed a little sweeter when you had to do more than push a button and get all the answers. I think Jane Fonda said that.